I scrolled through the God first family second then Dallas Cowboys football shirt moreover I will buy this Reddit SkincareAddiction forum (what an apt name) for hours, and used my “emergency” credit card to buy products I couldn’t actually afford. I watched YouTube videos of dewy, glowing “skinfluencers” to learn the molecular differences between an essence and a toner. I diligently purchased the latest “fave” products of beauty editors, telling myself this new serum would get rid of my acne and therefore my self-consciousness and then my unhappiness.
It’s easy for me to laugh at this line of thinking now. But at the God first family second then Dallas Cowboys football shirt moreover I will buy this time, someone on the internet saying, “This product is a game-changer!” was like hearing, “You’ll be able to look at yourself in the mirror again.” I started fantasizing about a life with poreless, acne-free skin, and the message that would send to the world: That I, the queer black boy trying to work a grueling digital media job and earn his MFA at the same time, had everything under control. (I didn’t.)